Lately I've been thinking a lot about me. Sounds selfish, eh ? But what I mean is I've been wondering about my choices, plans, achievements and perspectives of life. I'm worried about my dreams and whether I will ever be capable of reaching them.
Worrying is not something I do often so I'm not very good at thinking with reason, you know, like positively figuring out ways to handle each situation and obstacle. I get stuck and start to think I'm worth nothing and I will never be any good at anything or to anyone. I lack self esteem and courage, which is actually kind of sad.
I have come to the conclusion that it's time to let go of some of my fluffy, puffy, sweet dreams and start to concentrate on those dreams that I truly want to reach and I'm willing to work on. It's time to start growing up. Gosh, how terrible. Here I thought that I would always be that cheerful, happy and ever so not-at-all-worried girl.
But after all, I believe that the strength and courage needed in this life are things that come with a lot of time, disappointments, successes, and experiences. I used to think I was already halfway there. Hell no. I'm far from there.
So I'll just have to keep telling myself
"Be patient."
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